A very long time ago, I struggled into work, a noticeable bandage covering the gash in the center of my chin. Fearing all day, it may bleed, my hand added pressure to the open gash. Risky behavior and alcohol led to me being chased by two men on a street known for parties. The pursuers were deterred when I landed face-first on the brick, they ran away quickly, I had been spared violence or rape. This would have been a recurrence of sexual violence. I escaped that midnight encounter. Still, abuse by men would continue for about a decade that followed.  

Chased down by strangers, I remember it clearly. Now, forty or so years later, I realize the scar has at last completely faded. The indention in my skin is no longer visible. I am reminded of how far I’ve been delivered by God, I am reminded of certain times as a warning not to return. Most of all, I am reminded as a means of understanding God’s ways, a pathway to clarity.

I wonder if wounds have just that purpose. If memories linger until we truly understand those times and grow from them, not be imprisoned.  Memories deeply imbedded are glimpses into our pasts that are heavyweights around our necks and chests. We respond to others based on our wounds. We decide how to live based on the possibility of revisiting our traumas.

Maybe you were a child who learned to be attentive to the sounds that brought fear. Perhaps, your parents were angry, maybe they were very sad. Memories lead to barrier building or ready escapes.  You may be hypervigilant sensing impending danger or worse yet, lack of control.  You became quite skilled at anticipating conflict, anger, and danger and react by hiding.

I wonder if these responses limit the fullness of our healing. I wonder if God will continue to bring situations that are similar to our most emotionally handicapping traumas until we decide, I am safe now. This is not the same as then, I am well. I am different. This hard thing feels like the heartbreak of the former hard thing; but it is not, I am no longer a victim.

Like the faded scar on my chin from that raucous night, we can heal. Fear and trauma mark our memory. Nevertheless, we can grow to see our traumas as beneficial. We can, when we stop allowing our wounds to pursue and entrap us again and we begin to pursue God’s unwavering grace.

If you are being harmed by someone, are concerned about the abuse of a friend or even one of your children, tell a trusted friend, seek help. Do not believe the lie that there is no way to escape. You can live past your present or previous trauma.

Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them…this is the way, walk in it. Isaiah 30:20 NIV

Lisa Anne Tindal is a writer and artist who believes in the value of redemption and enjoys sharing with others a belief that hope endures and strength is developed through our trust in God. Lisa Anne is a wife, a grandmother and a mama to two adult children. Her life verse is Isaiah 30:15 because she knows she is most confident when she is quiet and connected to God. Her writing can be found at https://quietconfidence-artand word.blog. Follow her on Instagram at lisanne_811 or lisa_anneart